Untitled

I have no title for this blog. I'm just annoyed right now.

I am the type of person that, when I want to do something, I want to do it when I want to. Kevin & I discussed what was to happen today last night. So I wake up at 11 AM, chill for a bit,took a shower and got dressed. He was supposed to call me when he woke up and he didn't. So I'm sitting here, waiting for him to call me. I give up on waiting and call him. Just his tone on the phone was just real aloof and careless. I ask him if he just woke up and he's like, "Nah, not really, I was just relaxing." I'm talking to him about how he didn't call me when he woke up and he just says, "My fault". Then he asks me "What's the plan for today?" We talked about this shit last night. I swear, it's like he doesn't think sometimes. It's like he just speaks or just does something before thinking about it. It really makes me think that there's something wrong with him sometimes. At times, I just want to yell at him and make him feel so stupid and hurt his feelings, but then I take a deep breathe and try to relax because I know that's not going to help the situation. I know it's not nice to be mean, but there are times like this where I want to say, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you slow or mildly retarded? I know you have a brain in your head, so how bout you fuckin use it?" But that's not very nice, is it?

The only reason I feel this way is because I care about him so much. I'm listening to "Hate That I Love You" by Rihanna ft. NeYo and it is so true at times. When he gets me so upset, I hate the fact that I love him so much. But I know that I would rather him make me feel this way instead of another guy. Even when I'm upset at him, he knows just how to make me smile and laugh, knowing good and damn well how annoyed I am at him. It drives me crazy because I'm mad at him, but he makes me laugh because he wants to make me happy. If that was the case, you wouldn't do some of the dumb shit you do.

Now I'm gettin more upset because I have to fuckin wait for his fuckin ass so I can do what the fuck I wanted to do. I should just leave and do what I had to do. I HATE having to wait on people. You are wasting my time. I'm sitting here, waiting for him to call me. I'm back where I was an hour ago. I swear, if he calls me at 2, I'm telling him to stay his ass at home. If he did what the fuck he was supposed to do instead of laying in his fuckin bed, this blog wouldn't be existant.