Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Strike is Over

Kevin hit me up Tuesday night. We spoke and it was still a bit tense. After talking for 3 days, we're good now. I'm so proud of myself for sticking to my guns.

I'll be going home next week and I can not wait. I haven't seen him in a month and this trip will help to make the distance we've had between us; it will also help until he comes to D.C. , which is the trip we are mostly looking forward to. I'm going to get as much work done as I can this week so I can have a little break when I go home.

Going Natural?

I believe that since "Good Hair" was released 2 years ago, there has been a major shift of women going from relaxed hair to natural hair. I have a number of friends who have gone natural, some who still straighten it, some who keep it in it's natural state. My best friend even has dreads. 2 of my good friends from high scool are natural. In mid-late 2009, I was going through some personal and financial issues, which didn't allow me to indulge in my normal luxuries (i.e. going home every month, getting my hair relaxed every month). My perm was growing out and my true hair texture was beginning to reveal itself. It was so wavy and curly, I loved it. What I DIDN'T love, was that as I straightened my edges/roots to match with my permed hair, it looked weird and I wasn't comfortable at all. By early 2010, my luck changed and I was able to do the things I normally did. For about 8 months, I didn't get a perm and when I got the first chance to go home last February, I gave in and got a perm.

Since that "relapse", I get a perm every 1 1/2 to 2 months and I since I was used to letting my hair grow out, I'm used to prolonging the next time until I get my touch up.

I'm a bit of a vain person, I will not front. I'm very consious of my apperance. I'm newly beginning to be comfortable with myself and embracing myself and my beauty. Doing the big chop (BC) in a short period of time is not going to be in my journey because extremely short hair does not look good on me, I know that for a fact.

It was easier for me to start growing my hair out in that time period because it was colder and people wear hats, so you can simply throw a hat on and be on your merry way without thinking about how your hair really looks. So the question is: will I be going natural again? Yes I will, but I'm not sure when. I know it will be some time between this year and next year. I'm doing my research now so I can know what to do during this process. My natural hair was about the length of my hair now, a bit longer and I kind of wish my mom didn't let me get a perm. My hair was always braided into styles, since I was about 3, 4 years old. I got a perm when I was 15, so for 6 years, I've had a perm. Not as long as the average girl, but still long enough. My hair was long and full when it was natural and I'm ready to have that back and more.

Eventually, I'm going to get dreads so I have to go natural to achieve that. I recently watched this girl's twist out tutorial and her hair is GORGEOUS. Her hair was naturally long already but imagine how long my hair could have been if I never would have gotten a perm. Can't dwell on the past, have to move on and start from today. Most likely, I'll start my process in September/October of this year. So my last perm will be in May. I'm excited to see how far I can go with it and see if I can finally break free of the creamy crack.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Day 2

It wasn't as easy as yesterday, but I'm ok. I got a little sad earlier but I feel like if I keep myself busy, my mind won't be on the fact that we're on the outs. I'm usually the one that gives in but I refuse to do it. If we don't talk for a week, we don't talk for a week. That's on him.

Monday, February 7, 2011

The booski and I got into a fight last night and I guess we're not talking right now. Suprisingly, I'm doing well. I'm usually sad and all mopey but I'm feeling good, regardless of what's going on between us right now. I'm tired of the bullshit, I don't want to deal with it anymore. When you have your shit together and come correct, get back at me. So as of now, I'm not hitting him up. You did the crime, now pay the time. I'm waiting on him to come to me. Day 1 went smoothly, we'll see how long this lasts.
Things are so hard when you have no friends to confide in and one of your best friends is your partner. So when they're fucking up, who are you supposed to talk to now?