My Life As I See It

Going in on an article or 2 for the day, joking and chatting with my co-workers, talking about the newest hot song from whatever artist is on the come up, jamming to music, a celebrity or two walking through the hallways, big blow up of the latest issue on the office wall, in a meeting where we're all bouncing ideas off of each other and cutting up with my new found family.

Around 5,6PM, a couple of us hit up a local bar and are just being silly but I leave early to make it to my Brooklyn loft with my fiance waiting for me :)

Randomness

I want to be left alone for a while and go away. Travel to different cities and embark on different things. That would be cool. No time for that though. 1 more year left of school so I gotta bang it out. Got my last perm in March. My last perm was going to be in May but I'm deciding on starting the natural process now. Going to get my first weave for my birthday. I need more clothes. I'm pretty casual when it comes to wears but I want to change it up, be a bit more versatile. But I have responsible things to do with my money so shopping frivilously isn't really an option. I want to do something new. Try new foods, go new places, cook new things, meet new people. I actually want new people to hang with, but that's hard to find. I'm ready for a positive change in my life, long story short.

One of my favorite pictures of us. One of my favorite people in the whole wide world. I love this dude so effin much. That's my babe right there.

I'm supposed to be doing an article but I have to get these thoughts out.

I just realized something; I don't have any friends that are/will be into the things I am. My best friend is a mom to my handsome godson, my other friend is pregnant, I can only drink with my other best friend, my Howard bestie will be boo'd up when we graduate and she has mad friends at HU so I can't hang with her often.

I like to party, go to bashments and wine up. I like to smoke. I like to chill. My best friend who is my godson's mom, that was my ace. Bashments, we was in there. But now she's a mommy so she can't attend every event. There is only one person who is into the things I previously listed and we don't talk anymore.

All I got is my boo and I don't wanna depend on him. Is my "social" life really over? People are becoming moms, getting into serious relationships. I mean, I've been in a serious relationship for 3 1/2 years but I always did my thing on the side.

I would make new friends, but that's hard.

Ms.Solo Dolo

I continue to write about this subject because it bothers me lol.

I've accepted that I will never be in the loop at Howard. I will never be in the Howard bubble. When ppl mass txt about a kickback or crazy house party, I'll never receive that txt.

I'm very under the radar. I have close to no "friends" here, but associates and I don't even really associate myself with them. The way I feel about it, I'm not gonna beg for friends or for people to hang out with me. I'm a great person, I know that. Whoever doesn't want to hang out with me, that's a major loss on your part, seriously.

TLK, Wass dat? #fam, wass dat? That shit is the pitts lol.

All I'm gonna do is focus on my school shit and graduating in May 2012.

The Strike is Over

Kevin hit me up Tuesday night. We spoke and it was still a bit tense. After talking for 3 days, we're good now. I'm so proud of myself for sticking to my guns.

I'll be going home next week and I can not wait. I haven't seen him in a month and this trip will help to make the distance we've had between us; it will also help until he comes to D.C. , which is the trip we are mostly looking forward to. I'm going to get as much work done as I can this week so I can have a little break when I go home.

Going Natural?

I believe that since "Good Hair" was released 2 years ago, there has been a major shift of women going from relaxed hair to natural hair. I have a number of friends who have gone natural, some who still straighten it, some who keep it in it's natural state. My best friend even has dreads. 2 of my good friends from high scool are natural. In mid-late 2009, I was going through some personal and financial issues, which didn't allow me to indulge in my normal luxuries (i.e. going home every month, getting my hair relaxed every month). My perm was growing out and my true hair texture was beginning to reveal itself. It was so wavy and curly, I loved it. What I DIDN'T love, was that as I straightened my edges/roots to match with my permed hair, it looked weird and I wasn't comfortable at all. By early 2010, my luck changed and I was able to do the things I normally did. For about 8 months, I didn't get a perm and when I got the first chance to go home last February, I gave in and got a perm.

Since that "relapse", I get a perm every 1 1/2 to 2 months and I since I was used to letting my hair grow out, I'm used to prolonging the next time until I get my touch up.

I'm a bit of a vain person, I will not front. I'm very consious of my apperance. I'm newly beginning to be comfortable with myself and embracing myself and my beauty. Doing the big chop (BC) in a short period of time is not going to be in my journey because extremely short hair does not look good on me, I know that for a fact.

It was easier for me to start growing my hair out in that time period because it was colder and people wear hats, so you can simply throw a hat on and be on your merry way without thinking about how your hair really looks. So the question is: will I be going natural again? Yes I will, but I'm not sure when. I know it will be some time between this year and next year. I'm doing my research now so I can know what to do during this process. My natural hair was about the length of my hair now, a bit longer and I kind of wish my mom didn't let me get a perm. My hair was always braided into styles, since I was about 3, 4 years old. I got a perm when I was 15, so for 6 years, I've had a perm. Not as long as the average girl, but still long enough. My hair was long and full when it was natural and I'm ready to have that back and more.

Eventually, I'm going to get dreads so I have to go natural to achieve that. I recently watched this girl's twist out tutorial and her hair is GORGEOUS. Her hair was naturally long already but imagine how long my hair could have been if I never would have gotten a perm. Can't dwell on the past, have to move on and start from today. Most likely, I'll start my process in September/October of this year. So my last perm will be in May. I'm excited to see how far I can go with it and see if I can finally break free of the creamy crack.

Day 2

It wasn't as easy as yesterday, but I'm ok. I got a little sad earlier but I feel like if I keep myself busy, my mind won't be on the fact that we're on the outs. I'm usually the one that gives in but I refuse to do it. If we don't talk for a week, we don't talk for a week. That's on him.

The booski and I got into a fight last night and I guess we're not talking right now. Suprisingly, I'm doing well. I'm usually sad and all mopey but I'm feeling good, regardless of what's going on between us right now. I'm tired of the bullshit, I don't want to deal with it anymore. When you have your shit together and come correct, get back at me. So as of now, I'm not hitting him up. You did the crime, now pay the time. I'm waiting on him to come to me. Day 1 went smoothly, we'll see how long this lasts.

Things are so hard when you have no friends to confide in and one of your best friends is your partner. So when they're fucking up, who are you supposed to talk to now?

::sighs:: I give up. I'm not reach out to anyone here anymore. Imma be on my school shit, heavy. I'll only concern myself of school, family, my friends at home and my relationship

When I first got into this relationship with my boyfriend, it didn't cross my mind that there would be times that I'm going to be ridiculously lonely without him. It also didn't cross my mind that there would be times where we won't see each other for months at a time. We're going through something right now. He's working now, about to start school. I'm in D.C. for school, about to start working; we've never been this busy simultaneously. It was either we were both at school or I was was working and going to school and he was taking a break from school. It's hard for me to deal with because I don't know when I'm going to see him again and I have to get used to the fact that we're apart again. He said he's trying to figure out a way to get here and that he has to handle some things first before he can make this trip.

::sighs:: I just want him here but at the same time, I don't want him to make a decision that may jeopardize his job.


I WANT MY BABY

You Gotta Believe

My mom and my sister were here a couple of hours ago, helping me move in my stuff so now my room is 80% complete.

Yesterdat was such a LONG day, I was on campus from 12 pm to 6:45 pm, going back and forth, up and down the hills to get things done. Long story short, I'M BACK BABY! I am again, a student at Howard University and I couldn't be any happier. I have all the classes I need, I don't owe the school money, talk about Ws all around.

I try not to be preachy because everyone isn't a believer. I prayed about it, thought positive thoughts about. Every time I went to campus, I spoke to everyone politely, smiled, I was polite and I kept my spirits up. It worked. When something is for you, you know it.

I've been in D.C. for 2 days and I feel so alone. I HATE that feeling. Yeah, I have my family, I have my friends and I have Kevin but I'm still by myself. I don't know why I'm so upset while I write this but I am

Positivity

I believe when one good thing happens, other good things will soon follow.

With that being saaiiid...I found a place to live! So happy, lol

Next to be conqured: school situation

Keep you posted.