Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Dreams

Last night and Sunday night, I had some vivid ass dreams.

Aight, the dream I had on Sunday night, Kevin asked me to marry him and everything and I said yes. So We hugged and everything, but I started feeling (you have feelings in a dream? apparantly, yes,lol) a lil guilty because I was a little unsure about marrying him. So I'm all engaged and stuff and everywhere I go, someone's like "Oh my gosh, you're engaged" or "When's the wedding?", things like that. That happened like everywhere I went, somebody was saying something and everytime they did, I felt unsure, like, "Do I really want to get married right now?" So I'm planning the wedding and people were still bombarding me with the same stuff. That was the end of that dream. I typed in engaement and wedding ring and according to dreammoods.com,
To dream that you are engaged to be married, represents sexual or relationship needs. You may be trying to resolve your feelings of loneliness. Alternatively, it symbolizes your commitments. More directly, if you are unmarried, the dream may indicate your desires to be engaged.

To see a wedding ring in your dream, represents completeness and eternal love. If you are not married and find a wedding ring, then it may mean that your personal relationship has reached a new level.

Do I want to be engaged? Sure, to be honest, lol, but you know what? I'm in no rush to get engaged or married. I know I have things I want to accomplish and do before I get married and have kids. Plus, I'm young, I gotta get that partying outta my system before I come home to Kev every night, lol. Has our relationship reach a new level? I think so. I think we're at the point in our relationship where we know that this is it right here, just me and him, I'm not going anywhere and neither is he. Plus he met all of my family (mom, dad, brother and sisters) and that's usually the deal breaker, but they all like him so it's all good, lol.

Now the dream I had last night. Me and Kevin are at this restaurant with a couple other people and this guy comes over (someone from my school, but I don't know him like that in real life). So me and Kevin are sitting in a booth and this dude comes over and is squeezing hisself between the end of the booth and me, with his arm around me. So I move over a bit, make some space and Kev just gets up and sits in a seat next to the booth. I'm like "Babe, there's space, you sure you don't wanna sit in the booth?" He goes like "No,I'm good." and has a conversation with other peopl at the table. So Kevin asks me to pass him his jacket and the dude next to me gave it to me and I gave it to Kev. So Kev says "Excuse me." and gets up to go to the bathroom but Nancy (an old friend when I was in camp when I was like 12,13) gets up and follows him. So I'm like, "Wait, where are YOU going?" So she smirks and Kevin laughs, but it wasn't like, ha ha he he, Dani buggin, it was on some, yeah, we fucking and you just found out. So I was like, "Fuck it," grabbed my jacket and rushed out the restaurant. I ran into my friend Kelso (he's my friend in real life) by the train station and he asked me where was Lauren and I was like, "I don't know where the fuck Lauren is,ok?" Then I explained to him what happened and why I spoke to him like that. So I went with him to where they were supposed to meet up and we saw her. As soon as they sat down, somebody comes in from the restaurant I left from and was like, "Kevin can't find his phone, do you know where it is?" I was like, I don't give a fuck about Kevin and his damn phone." and left. I typed in cheating and it read:

To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem.

The alternative meaning is more applicable to me. People expect me to be great. Like a good student, a good journalist, a good friend but I feel like I can't do that, no matter how bad I want to be. Especially with the journalism thing, I'm about to be a junior and I haven't had an internship YET. In my school, they stress that you have an internship after your sohphomore and until you graduate. At this moment, an internship is not important (that's another post), but I REALLY want one. But on a bright side, I don't have any doubts or bad feelings about my future career, I just have to get my mind right.

Best Juice

I've just stumbled upon this juice about 2 weeks ago when I went to the grocery store. I've seen Naked and Odwalla around, but I'm not a smoothie person. I saw Pomegranate Limeade and decided to try it.

This juice is GREAT, lol. Definitely a drink for the summer. It's got a lil zing to it. I love it. This is a second to my other favorite juice, Minute Maid Cran-Rasberry Apple, lol

Monday, April 27, 2009

I Am TOO Through

I'm done with Meridian (My dorm). I gotta get the FUCK outta here.

I swear, people have no manners nor any consideration. Ok, it's 2 PM, so what? Why, WHYYYY must you blast your music as if your room is a car and the hallway is outside? Like, what the fuck, seriously. I asked my dad to come get me on Monday but sheit, I might have to call him back and ask him to get me on Friday, fuck the bullshit. I'm just thoroughly pissed with these bitches that live on this floor.

Yeah.....I'm about to ask whoever it is to turn this shit down, dead ass.

Being here makes me sick, UGH

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Homesick

I MISS DELAWARE & BROOKLYN!!!!

I only miss Delaware because that's where the fam is at and I miss my family MUCHO. Plus, it's quiet and SUPER 'lax whenever I go home.

These are the things I've missed:

-My Mommy, Daddy, and siblings
-Home cooked food
-Unlimited snacks
-Real cable
-My Dad on the grill
-My Mom and Dad cutting on each other
-Coldstones ice cream
-Having something to do every day/every other day/every weekend
-Jerk chicken
-Oxtail
-My granny's cooking
-Being able to walk/take the bus or train everywhere
-Flatbush in the summer
-MY BESTIES
-Backyard/basement bashments
-Reggae & Soca music being blasted out of every car
-Jamba Juice
-The promenade
-All the food spots I love in BK
-Just chillin or hanging out with my favorite ppl

And last but not lease......

-I miss my Kevie

lol,I hope I didn't forget anything, but that's pretty much it. I had to let it out. School's pretty much fin pour moi (finished for me en francais) so I'm just itching to go home.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Kicks

I'll always be a sneaker girl at heart, lol. I've loved dunks since like 9th, 10th grade before people were really on them. Now it's just an ongoing trend but I'll always love them .

These kicks are just seexxx (you can use that word to describe something that is fly, hot, cool, along those lines, lol). They come out next month and my birthday is coming up, might have to treat myself, lol

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My First Vlog

Personally,I think I look crazy,lol, but that's just me. I sound SO Brooklyn, omg. I can't deny it anymore Lauren! I would REALLY appreciate some comments on this video, then I can solidify my decision in making more videos.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Summer Must-Haves

I should be asleep but my body & mind doesn't know when to go to bed. Like my counterpart said, I fight the sleep instead of embracing it, lol. Oh well.

I'm not a "fashionista", I wouldn't even say that I'm very stylish or trendy, but I do know what I like and what looks good on me, ya diig? Anyway, the purpose of this post is to list some things I wanna cop for the summertime. It's starting to get warmer and skin is starting to become visable, lol. Tryna change my style up, become a bit more girly and comfortable because rocking a pair jeans on a 90 degree day is no bueno, lol

Deep V-Necks (V-Necks in general) are sexy and comfortable. Pair up with some shorts or jeans and some chacletas (sandals). It's so effortless!




Trying to incorporate some more color in my wardrobe. I like to wear shorts (hate the attention that comes with it). Bright colors will make the outfit pop.



Nice for an evening barbeque or for a lil backyard bashment. Worn with shorts of course, lol.



I have this thing for ripped jeans now. I don't know if it's the grungeness of it,but I really like 'em. Get some air flowing through your jeans on a breezy day, lol.



I bought a pair of sandals recently and I plan to add this specific pair (color and all) to my mini collection. They're so cute!



My ace boon bestie said I should stop fucking with Steve Madden because they're so damn expensive, but their shoe are just so damn flyy! I don't wear heels, but I should start, I'm getting older. Plus these are platforms, which are a bit easier on your feet.

What do you think of these choices?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Convo With Me & Kev (via AIM)

Kev: I was thinkin we cudd hav mommy roll wit us wen we got 2 dat bbq place
Me: sylvia's?
Kev: Yea
Me: when are we going because thursday is not happening,lol
Kev: I was thinkin friday after we pick her up

lol, he said we.

BTW, we were talking about my mom. She's coming to NY this weekend.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Free Music!

This is not a shameless plug, lol.

So I had to pull an all nighter last night and when I do, I like to listen to music, it keeps me motivated. My friend put me on to Pandora Radio like 2 months ago, so I was like, let me see what they got here. I'm in love now, lol. All you have to do is type in an artist and the site choses songs that are similar to the artists style. I was jamming HARD to some reggae last night/this morning, lol. They had a mix of new and old.

The sign up is free and you can give it a little test trial before you sign up. You won't be disappointed!

www.pandora.com

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Scattered Thoughts

I just wanted to vent a bit.

Kevin's getting on my nerves, we argued again last night. Things were going so good too. I'm not talking to him right now. Maybe we need some space from talking to each other. Because of this situation, I am jamming HARD to "How Does It Feel" by Keri Hilson. I'm not in that situation, but some of the words I can relate to.

I have a term paper to do (it's due tomorrow). I'm starting it now so I don't have to pull an all nighter. THAT is not going to do down, lol. It's supposed to be 8 to 10 pages, but check this out: This is my first term paper since I been to Howard. Crazy right? I know.

My lil brother turns 8 today. He's getting so big, it's crazy.

Ok, I'm off to bang this paper out.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Family

I'm lowkey pissed, but I'm not letting that get to me. Kevin was just on some dumb shit and I just hung the phone up on him. I'm rude, yeah, I know.

Anyway, I wanted to write about family. Everyone has family: some members you get along with and some you don't. Deep down, I kind of wish that I was closer to some of my family members like other people but sometimes, you just don't click. My family just aren't close. You have your immediate family, the people you live with that have known you for your whole life, but when it comes to the other members, in some families, they don't really matter.

I don't have a lot of family members that are close in my age range and the ones that are, I just don't bang with them. Case in point, I have a cousin that's a year older than me and when we were younger, that was my ace boon. If you saw me at a family gathering, she was right by my side, lol. But we got older, lived life and just turned into the young ladies that we are today. Me and her are two complete different people. Over the summer, she called me out, talking about I put my friends before her and I never want to go see her. But she did the same thing to me. Now when I talk to her, the conversation just doesn't flow and I feel like she's not tryna fuck with me. On my top (on MySpace), I have her as the first person because that's my family and even though we aren't close, I will do anything my family, they come first. If some shit was to go down and she needed me, I'm there for her, no question asked. On shorty's top, I'm like in the second to last row.

::Sighs:: I just hope shit isn't akward this weekend. There's a gathering at her house and I'll be going over there, along with my mommy. I just don't want to feel uncomfortable. I was gonna birng Kevin, but I'm not too sure if that's still a good idea.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It's Been A While

It really has, lol.

I just had nothing to write about since the last entry.

Well, April is here and classes are almost over (yay!!). My last day of classes are on the 23rd. I'm not sure when finals are, but I know I'll be in Delaware for like 2 weeks, then I'm going to NY for the rest of my summer. Next week is the Howard/Hampton Cabaret, an event that Howard, Hampton and other VA college students look forward to. Unfortunately, I won't be there to partake in the festivities. My aunt is having her 50th birthday party and my family is coming from Del to go to NY. The party depends on my aunt's surgery (she has breast cancer) and even if she doesn't have the party, my mom might come to NY regardless. My mom has NEVER shown interest in coming back to NY since she left, lol. I hope comes though, I miss my mommy.

As of lately (middle of march), I don't call any of my friends from back home. I don't call majority of my friends anyway, but the usual suspects that I do talk to, I just STOPPED calling them. I don't know, it makes things easier. I'm not worrying about people's feelings because I didn't call them and stuff. Even Whitney, who I speak to the most, I haven't spoken to since like March. I don't know, it's so easy to not pick up the phone and call people. I'm so wrapped up in my own world that I just don't take the effort to see how other people are doing. Is it wrong that I don't have a problem with that?

Spring is here, the weather is getting warmer and what better time to change my wardrobe than now? I'm trying to incorporate more colors and more of a variety. I always stick to my usual staples: t-shirt, jeans and kicks but one can only get so tired of the same routine. I want to go outside my comfort zone, sport some dresses and more shorts, tank tops and things of that sort. Wish me luck on this because lord knows I tend to stay in my lil box when it comes to clothes, lol.

For the month of April, I'm not eating fast food. It's the 7th and I've been doing well so far. I'm hoping to keep this going. If I have the urge, I'm trying to eat Subway in substitute for like McDonalds or Burger King. Wish me luck! lol