Happy Thanksgiving!!

Wishing everyone a Happy Turkey Day, one of my FAVORITE holidays. It isn't because of the delicious food, it's one of the few times my whole family sits at the table and eat together. It's me, my mommy, my step-dad, my 3 little sisters and my little brother. I am very thankful for my family. I say this every year, but it's true. Some people go home and I'm grateful that I can go home as often as I want to. When some people come home, as soon as they get there, they want to leave. Whenever I come home, I don't want to leave. Being away from my family definitely reminds me how much I love and appreciate them.

Today marks the day Kevin and I have been together for 1.3 years (1 year and 3 months). It's not that serious, but I don't know, we like to keep track of things like that,lol. He pissed me off tonight (again). Oh well,I'm not going to let him ruin me feeling good.

I was going to go to New York this weeked to be with my girlies. On Saturday, they were going to go out to a Thai restaurant for the baby of the group's birthday (Jarena) but I won't be going. Due to some monetary issues, I'll be in Delaware for my whole Thanksgiving break. In all honesty, I did want to stay here and spend time with my family and I'm glad that I'm not going. Plus, there's so much traveling involved in such a small amount of time and my sleep pattern has been off for the past 2 weeks due to me going to NY 2 weekends in a row. The girlies will just have to wait to see me until December.

Anyway, I'm about to go grate some cheese for my daddy's macaroni & cheese. I just finished making some cranberry-apple relish. I can't wait to eat! lol

Back To School

Yesterday was move in day at Howard University. I now live in Meridian Hill Hall, which is off campus. A number of my friends live here so it was really cool to see them today. I haven't seen these girls in a couple of months.

After I moved in, I kinda got settled and went into everyone's room to see how it looks. My room is a lil "off",lol, but I'm getting it situatuated ASAP. After that, I went to the supermarket with my friends because some of them live off campus and they had to buy food for their house. I went back to my dorm to chill for a bit and then I was out the door again. We went to my friend's house off campus. It was fun, chillin with my girls again. Us just acting like complete assholes and cracking jokes and whatnot,lol.

Now I'm back in my room,just chilling. I miss Kevin. I only spoke to him once and it was only for a couple of minutes because he had just got in from work. He said that he was going to call me back and I've been waiting for him to. I honestly feel that he fell asleep or forgot to call me, which I would be a bit upset at. I would like to talk to him because I miss him and just want to hear his voice.

Oh Well, Going Back To Del(aware)

I know, I haven't been updating lately, but everything has been so crazy. I've been really busy. Now that I have some time on my hands, I can update.

This was a very eventful weekend. I'm glad that I did a lot of things this weekend, being that this was my last weekend in Brooklyn before I go back to school. Today, I'm leaving to go to Delaware to spend time with my family. Then on Thursday, I'm leaving to go back to Howard. So I'll start my weekend from Friday

Friday: I woke up at 5:30 am to go to the YRC. We were going to go to Splish Splash that day. we got on the bus by 9:30 and got there by 10:30. I haven't been to Splish Splash (a water park in Long island) in like 5 years,lol. The last time I went, I had no one to go on any rides with me, since I was with my parents and little siblings. I had a really good time with my friends. It rained when we were about to leave and I was really glad about that because we got to go on all the rides. Me after I changed into my bathing suit. This was the first time I wore a bathing suit all summer,lol

Alley & I. She was my partna in crime for the summer. I love this girl

Me, Robert, Jess & Alex. Jess was our superviser over the summer at the YRC.

We got back at 6:15pm and I chilled at Alex's house for a bit with her peoples. Kevin lives right down the block so I went to hang out with him at his house after. We watched "Perfect Stranger" and then I fell asleep. It was a loooooong day,lol. Kevin called me a cab and I went home. I went to sleep at 1:30am.

Saturday: Mellissa woke me up with her phone call. I was glad that she was because I had a lot of things to do that day. I got ready and left my house at 9:00am. I went to the bank to cash my check. After that, I went to go get my hair done but my hair dresser wasn't in. I met up with Alex and we went to find her sneakers. After that we went to meet up with Mellissa, who was getting her hair done. I got my hair done there as well. I got there at 1:00pm and left at 3:00pm. I took a trip to Manhattan to buy an outfit. I went to 34th St. and found nothing. then I went to SoHo, hoping that I would find something for the party. I remembered that Whitney worked in SoHo, so I went to visit her and lucky me, she was about to go on her lunch break. We went to grab something to eat at Wendy's and went to Necessary Objects to see if I could find something. I get a text from Alex saying that Milly said that we are on our cardigan flow, seeing as how Milly bought a cardigan from J. Crew and Alley was wearing her cardigan from Hellz Bellz. I already had a cardigan so I went home so I can get my stuff together to go to Milly's house. I got to Milly's house at 8:00pm and we were just chilling, waiting for people to come so the party could get started [Sidebar: Saturday was Milly's going away/birthday party. My ace boon bestie is going away to SUNY Morrisville this Thursday]. It got jumping around 11:30pm, or whenever the DJ started playing reggae,lol.

Kamilah, NaNa & Vianka

Kamilah & I rocking our Hellz Bellz

Milly looking so cute,lol

Alley looking fly with her Hellz Bellz & new Nike's

We were on our cardigan flow. I love these girls. They're like my lil sisters

The Cool Kids: Lance, Kevin & Ray

Dorian (my lil brother), Najeeb & Rholan "tekking" a pose

Mellissa's cake. It was red velvet

Rholan & Alex dancing

Milly, Lance, and Ray

The party was over at 3:30 am. Me, London (Milly's friend from high school), Alex and Monica (Alex's little sister) slept over. We didn't go to bed until 5:15 am. We woke up at 10:30 and were just chilling. Alex & Monica were the first to leave. After that, I helped Mellissa pack her clothes for school. We all got ready to leave at 2:15pm. I went home to get ready for my date.

Sunday: I got home, took the quickest shower and got dressed. I had to pick Kevin up from work at 5:00pm, so I wanted to leave my house by 3:00pm so I can get my toes done before I go get him. I get out the shower and see I get a missed call from Kevin, but he was at home. He didn't go to work because he got home late from the party. I waited for him to come over so we can start our date. First, we went to Flatbush so I can get my toes done. We hopped on the bus to Atlantic to go to 42nd St. so we can have dinner at our favorite place: Olive Garden. Before we ate, we took a trip to Jamba Juice

I LOOOOOOVE Jamba Juice,lol. We (Kevin & I) were so happy when we got our Mango A Go Go,lol

Then we ate dinner. I love that chicken alfredo, hits the spot,lol. It was just real cool and relaxing. The waiter we had was a really cool guy, he took care of us and was very polite.

I wanted to take a pic. I was going for the preppy look. I think I succeded,lol

After dinner, we took the Q train to Coney Island. That was a long ride,lol. I fell asleep while we were listening to his iPod. We got off at West 8th and were just walking around on the boardwalk, talking and just enjoying each other's company. There's a pier farther down the boardwalk, where Kevin and I spent majority of our time there. We talked, told each other how much we loved each other and were just enjoying being around each other. We had a mini photoshoot

My baby, giving me a kiss. I love it,lol

My train leaves at 4:00 PM , so I've been chillin since I woke up. I do miss my family and can't wait to see them. I will miss Kevin and all my friends. I know I have to go back to school and get on my grind. I'm kind of ready and then I'm kind of not, but I just have to take everything one step at a time

My Day (June 24th)

Today was a...very long day. I am very exaughsted, but I need to get my feelings out. I guess I can start from 12 AM, when I was at Kevin's house.



So, lately, I've been going over Kevin's house to hang out. I like being over there, I just feel comfortable. Plus, his family likes me, so I don't feel threatened or uneasy. We were chillin at the house, holding each other, kissing, watching TV and such. It was around 2 AM and I was laying on him on the couch and I told him that I just wanted him to hold me. As he was holding me, I was thinking, "I really can't live my life without him. And if I had to do, I would be so sad." Thinking this, I started to cry. He asked me what was wrong and we talked about that I was thinking. He told me that he felt the same exact way. He also told me that I am the only one for him and that he wants me to be his wife, to have his children, to live in our house and have the life we planned for ourselves together. We exchanged our "I love you's" and I was still being held. Then I started thinking about the two times I was very hurt (Blain & Ramel) and I just couldn't stand being hurt by Kevin because against my will, he definitely has a great piece of me. I also love him with my heart, mind, body, and soul and being hurt from someone that you love that intensely would just damage you in the worst way. I started crying again and started telling him why I was crying. He told me that he would never do anything to hurt me and that I shouldn't worry about that, nor should I think about things like that. After us talking a bit, I called for a cab and went home. I got home by 3:20 AM and called Kevin to let him know that I was fine. I went to sleep at 3:45 AM.



I woke up at 6:30 AM and got myself ready for my best friend's graduation. I left my house at 7:20 AM, bought a croissant at the store and was on my way to the train station. I got my hair done, I was looking very nice and I was just feeling good about myself, vibing to A Tribe Called Quest and N.E.R.D. on my way to her house. I got there around 7:40 Am and we left at 8:10 AM. The graduation was at the chapel at Columbia University on 116th & Amsterdam. It was a really nice graduation. Her graduating class is small, so a group of them would go up with their "teacher" and the teacher would say a few things about the student, then give the student a chance to give thanks or say a little something. When my best friend was about to go up,she was crying a bit and I was just so proud of her. It started at 10 AM and ended at 12 PM. After the ceremony, Mellissa (my bestie) was talking pics with her friends, walking around, just being herself, lol. We ended up going to this chinese restaurant (it was a real restaurant, not the hood chinese food spots,lol) called Ollie's on 84th & Broadway. I had chicken & broccoli with fried rice. The food tasted good and the rice tasted clean, like it wasn't fried off a caked up wok and whatnot. Mellissa's dad was driving and me and her were just knocked OUT in that car, lol. As soon as I woke up, it started raining. They dropped me off home around 3 PM and I thought that would be the end of my day until...



...the rain cleared up and I called Lauren. Due to the weather, I still wanted to see if she was coming to Manhattan so we can chill, like we planned. She let me know that she was still coming and I left my house to go to Kevin's so we can leave and meet with her. I got to his house and was waiting for about 15 minutes. When we were about to leave, she called and told me that she was there, so we left and hopped on the train to get her. We got there and went to my favorite place, Johnny Rocket's, lol. [Sidebar: I do not, repeat, DO NOT, wear shoes of any sort but today was special, so I wore these loafers I got from Payless. Now, at this point in my day,my feet were killing me. So I'm making the decision to not buy anymore shoes from Payless. These joints are fucking up my feet]. We started walking down Broadway and I was showing her the sights, the different stores and things like that. It was cool and so was I. Eventually, my cool was wearing and I was starting to feel the pain on the inside of my right foot. We go into YRB (Yellow Rat Bastard) and just walking on the type of floor they had was KILLING me. So I was gettin upset and was telling Kevin how my feet were killing me and he says, "Just be tough for me, ok?" He definitely wasn't in my shoes (literally) because being tough was out of the question. I was starting to get upset. We're still walking, bout to reach Canal St. and Kevin asks me, "Wassup with tomorrow?" I just shrug my shoulders, because I didn't know. So we get to Canal and I let go of his hand so I can hold on to the rail with dear life. We get to where the we wait for the train and I sit down in relief. I didn't want to talk and Kevin sat between Lauren & I. Kevin was trying to get me to talk, but it wasn't working. We get on the train and the pain was HITTING me, literally. I am gripping my arm, damn near in tears due to the pain and Kevin asks me what's wrong. [Sidebar: What the fuck do you think is wrong with me? My fuckin feet are in the worst condition and I could not take the pain any more. Like, what the fuck else would be wrong with me? You should tell by the look on my face that I'm in pain]. So we get to the LIRR train station to drop Lauren off [Sidebar: I'm sorry Lauren for ending the day like that, I was just in a lot of pain and it was making me really upset] and after we leave, I ask him is he's taking the Q or the 2 or 3 train with me. He asks me, "Do you want me to go with you?". Now,I am in pain and am fighting my body to stand and you're asking me questions. All you had to say was a simple yes or no. So I ask him, "Do you want to come?", he says "It's up to you what you want to do." That just did it for me. So I say to him, "If you want to ride the train with me, ride the train, if you want to take the Q, take the Q. I don't care." All I was caring about was getting off my feet. So he says, "I'm taking the Q" and I left him right where he was. That was so fucked up to me. You know I'm in pain and you're going to leave me like that, not make sure that I get home and am feeling alright? So I got on the 3 and am trying not to think about my feet. As soon as I opened up my door, them shoes were off. By the time I got home, they hurt so much that I started crying. I was so tight at Kevin that I wasn't going to pick up his phone calls. Personally, I would've ignored them, but when he called, I was blasting my music. I was going to ignore his phone calls, not talk to him or see him tomorrow and go home without saying shit to him. He calls me again and I pick up because I know that I would have a feeling on my heart if I didn't tell him what was going on through my mind.

I only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep and I am exaughsted. I'm off to bed.

I Missed My Girls

Today was a nice day. It wasn't too hot, there was a nice, cool breeze flowing and I got to hang out with my girlies for a bit.

My good friend Egypt lives with her boyfriend and we (Jarena, Naeemah, Whitney & I) came to hang out at her house. This is the first time I've gone to her house (in general). She just recently moved into that apartment and the apartment she moved out of, I never came to visit her in. It's a nice, cozy 1 bedroom and I defintely got a homey feeling from being there. We chilled there, cracking jokes and conversing. After that, someone brought up the tape that we made. Lol, now it all started where Egypt, Naeemah, Whitney and I had to make a tape for a project. After that, we taped each other doing stupid stuff like :

-Doing a talk show
-Play fighting
-Having a fashion show

just to name a few,lol. It was so crazy because we looked younger, thinner, lol, all that. I was kinda skinny and looked really goofy (well,to me). At that time, I definitely was self-consisous and my self-esteem was low. I have grown into my looks and am a lot more comfortable with myself. Following the "home movies", we went to Egypt's room and looked at pictures of ourselves and were just reminicing. We said we should take more pics, make more home movies, and have a girls night in. We discussed about the girls night in and hopefully it goes down on Sunday, like we said. That would be really cool. We haven't had a sleepover in...like 2 years,lol. The last one was at Jarena's house, well, all of them have been at her house,lol. This is the oldest pic I have of all of us together.



This was in 11th Grade



This was May 16,2008 for my birthday