Thursday, October 21, 2010


No matter what anyone tells me, I'm a firm believer that I am alone. Not one person will be there for you when you need them, how you need them, at least not often. I had a conversation last night with someone who said I need to stop pushing them away and let them help me, but where was this person today? Dealing with their own issues.

I don't have a problem with that. I feel like if you want to help me take on my situations, you're going to have to be able to handle both your situations and mine.

Are there people that are there for me? Kind of. But sometimes you want someone that experienced what you're dealing with, rather than someone who understands from you telling them. There's only so much you can understand through expression.

I feel a little overwhelemed because I have a lot to do in a matter of 2 months and then it's back to my life in D.C.; that's a completely different type of being alone but I won't touch on that.

I should enjoy my time in New York and deal with these issues instead of letting them attack me from left and right. I know what I need to do. The only thing holding me back is my negativity and the past. But it's the past, it happened already. I have the power to not let it happen again. And where is negativity going to get me?

::Sighs:: Note to self: just do it

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