Missing You

It's mad late, or early, depending on who's reading, lol. But I'm just up, thinking about going back home to Brooklyn and thinking about hanging out with my besties. ALL of them, lol.

I'm thinking about the times I've been with Sexy 6 (Whitney, Naeemah, Jarena, Egypt, Shazel) and we just cracking jokes, reminisicing about the high school days, acting the damn fool and just LAUGHING. Now when I come home, I get to see my lil "niece" Samaya, a new baby in my life, lol.

I'm thinking about all the times me and Milly would be at her house just acting SO stupid and all the new friends I made through her. Her father joking on me and us just laughing like fools, lol. Me tryna find something to eat in her house, it ever fails. I'm thinking about the times I would be chilling with Alley and just talking about life, talking about relationships, throwing little funny things in to say. Then all three of us hanging and it's never a dull moment, NEVER, lol. Hanging out with Dorian, just being so stupid and acting like true brother and sister. Chillin with Rholan's ass and him always saying something to just have me giggle. I'm always in a good mood when I'm with him or any of these people.

All these people have a special place in my heart and I miss them so much. I've been so stressed in D.C. and I truly need a break. Being in the presence of these special people makes everything better and I would love to experience that ASAP. I have to wait until December though. It'll be well worth it though, I'm so excited, lol.

Confused & Lost

That's how I feel. I feel so out of control of my life and I don't like that.

I just want to go away and I can't even do that. The places I want to go, I have no way to get there.

I'm up. I'm down. I'm like a flat line, that's the best way I can explain it.

Have you ever just wanted to throw everything away? Just stop everything for a while and just be.

I feel trapped.

I just want it to stop.

I Feel Like...

A bum.

I have no job and I hardly have any food in my kitchen. My dad sent me some groceries, but it hasn't gotten here yet. I've hardly been eating since Sunday and my stomach is just on empty. I feel sick because I have only been eating once a day. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I'm trying so hard to see the good in every situation I'm in. I keep telling myself that it can only get better. I went to an open house today and it went really well.

I'm just so frustrated. I honestly have no friends to talk to because, no one's trying to hear my plight, no one is going through what I'm going through, no one has anything worthy to say about my situation and no one is willing to help. I feel lonely. The only person I can talk to about this is my mom and Kevin and I'm grateful for that because if I had NO ONE to talk to about what I'm going through, I would probably be depressed.

I'm just listening to Sam Sparro's "Still Hungry." Whenever I feel down, alone or borderline depressed, I listen to this song

"I'm not ungrateful, I just want more from the life I lead..."

Bored

Bored on a Saturday night. Yup, story of my life, lol.

I'm just chilling right now under my quilt, watching TV. I would go out but
1) I'm broke

and

2) I'm not really feeling it

My stomach is about to eat itself and I can't rip myself away from the bed, it's nice and warm, lol. I'll give in eventually.

See that I changed up the blog? Yeah, the blue motif was real blahh and depressed. I've made the decision to not go natural after 5 months of not getting a perm. I just can't take it. I don't know what to do with my hair anymore. I'm tired of wearing hats, it's getting old. So I'll be getting a perm when I go home to Brooklyn. Then I'm gonna chop it up for a short style, about up to my chin. Yup, lol.

Nothing really going on with my life other than school. I've been looking for a job and I'm still looking. I'm keeping positive about it. I've gotten through this far and I'm just taking things one day at a time.

I'm attempting to make my way back to blogging, as you can see. I'm also going to start to vlog once in a while. I don't have any editing skills/programs so it's just gonna come to you as you see it, lol

I'm Going Crazy

I gotta go home.

I'll take Delaware or Brooklyn, but I can't stay in D.C.

I have to regain my sanity, lol. I'm just tired of being at school man.

I gotta get away...

Life Happened

Been a while since I wrote an entry but life happened, plain and simple, lol

Since I've been at school, I've been busy getting my life together, waiting for things to fall into place and being patient. Nothing significantly new has happened to me.

I do miss blogging though but I just haven't had much to write.

I'm going natural, haven't had a perm since May and I'm going into my 5th month. Won't do the big chop as of yet, I'm not ready.

Guess that's it for now

Well, Well, Well

Look who's decided to blog. lol, ::sighs:: I've been so busy, plus my life has been so uneventful. I honestly feel like I don't have anything to blog about so that's why the posts haven't been so frequent.

A lil update I guess: I'm working but I hate  it. But you know what? I'm giving them my two weeks notice this week so I just gotta deal with these people for a couple of weeks.

I'm ready to go back to school and start my life on a new slate. I'm going in on all levels, lol, academically and socially. Plus I'm moving into my new house soon and I am excited about that. I'm living with my best friend Lauren, my homie Brittany (bflare.blogspot.com) , my girl Melody and 1 of my favs, Kelson. I knew the girls since freshmen year and we been friends since so that won't be a problem, living with them. I just met Kelso my sophomore year and I love him! lol. That house will be great and I can't wait to see what my junior year holds.

Yeah, I'm a junior in college. Those 2 years flew by QUICK, it's so crazy, lol. Next thing you know, I'm going to be graduating. It's kinda scary how fast everything went, but it puts me in perspective to do better in the future and enjoy everything when I can. 

I guess that's it. I'm going to make another blog about friends later. I really don't have the time or energy to write about that now, lol