Changes

So, I'm highly considering taking off a semester of school. Well, I'm going to do it, I already made that decision. I have NO money for a place to live and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so, so I believe my best bet is to take off school. I'm currently searching high and low for a job that I can work for my time in NY. Starting today, I'm going to apply to jobs every single day. I'm giving myself til mid-September and then if things don't go according to plan, I'm going to go to Delaware. I think it's the best choice for me right now.

I haven't told Kevin what I'm going to do and I'm not sure if I will. I don't know, we've been up and down a lot lately and I'm not sure how my decision will affect him. I don't want him to lose focus of school and possible work because I'm home longer than usual. If he knew I was home and I didn't tell him, he would probably get mad. It's already an issue that we hardly see each other, but when I work and he has school and work, it'll most likely put more of a strain on our relationship.

I'm just at a point in my life where I want to be comfortable living my life and I'm not. I'm trying very hard to build my patience and positivity. I hope it's working and being noticed.

It's that Time Of Year

Christmas time! I have NOT been in the mood lately. I wasn't able to get a gift for ANYONE. Gifts aren't anything, but I'm used to doing that. But one thing good about it is that I'm going home for Christmas! I'm so happy. I really wasn't even sure if it was going to be possible. It's such a blessing. I definitely didn't want to be in this house by myself. (My roommates left to go home for the winter break and I'm in DC ALL by myself)

I'm tryna go home (Brooklyn) for New Years/New Years Eve. I know a lot of people would appreciate that, including myself. I haven't been to Brooklyn since August. I miss going home terribly, like, it kills me inside almost everyday, lol.

There was a hashtag on twitter (Follow me @OnlyDaniB), #factaboutme and I had one that needed more than 140 characters, lol. 1 fact about me is that I'm greedy with my friends. I don't like to share my friends with my other friends. I don't really mind my circles to end up looking like a venn diagram but I feel insignificant when my friend from 1 circle hangs out with another friend from another circle and I'm not there. Kinda feels like I'm getting cheated on. I've never liked that and now that it's happening so often, it just makes me feel more insignificant. Lately, I've secluded myself from everyone, possibly because of what I've been going through and I don't feel like most of my friends would understand or empathize. In all honesty, I don't mind being secluded and somewhat cut off from everyone because I have my own issues to deal with. There are times where I just don't want to hear your "strife" because it's the same shit over and over again.

I'm Going Crazy

I gotta go home.

I'll take Delaware or Brooklyn, but I can't stay in D.C.

I have to regain my sanity, lol. I'm just tired of being at school man.

I gotta get away...