What To Do?

I have a friend, who I love very dearly. When we first met we couldn't STAND each other, but as time progressed and we got to know each other, we became friends and then best friends. We hung out ALL the time, I attended numerous family functions, supported her with a lot of thing, we did a lot of things together.. I did something wrong and haven't apologized for it yet. Now there's tension between us and I don't want there to be. I still want to be best friends with her and I know I have to apologize to her. The type of person she is, it's "shoot first, ask questions later." I've put off this apology because of that and by doing so, I might have made matters worse. Now she's home for winter break and I really want to speak to her but I'm a hesitant. What should I do?



Sidenote: I know no one will answer me. I had to get it out.

It's that Time Of Year

Christmas time! I have NOT been in the mood lately. I wasn't able to get a gift for ANYONE. Gifts aren't anything, but I'm used to doing that. But one thing good about it is that I'm going home for Christmas! I'm so happy. I really wasn't even sure if it was going to be possible. It's such a blessing. I definitely didn't want to be in this house by myself. (My roommates left to go home for the winter break and I'm in DC ALL by myself)

I'm tryna go home (Brooklyn) for New Years/New Years Eve. I know a lot of people would appreciate that, including myself. I haven't been to Brooklyn since August. I miss going home terribly, like, it kills me inside almost everyday, lol.

There was a hashtag on twitter (Follow me @OnlyDaniB), #factaboutme and I had one that needed more than 140 characters, lol. 1 fact about me is that I'm greedy with my friends. I don't like to share my friends with my other friends. I don't really mind my circles to end up looking like a venn diagram but I feel insignificant when my friend from 1 circle hangs out with another friend from another circle and I'm not there. Kinda feels like I'm getting cheated on. I've never liked that and now that it's happening so often, it just makes me feel more insignificant. Lately, I've secluded myself from everyone, possibly because of what I've been going through and I don't feel like most of my friends would understand or empathize. In all honesty, I don't mind being secluded and somewhat cut off from everyone because I have my own issues to deal with. There are times where I just don't want to hear your "strife" because it's the same shit over and over again.

Thinking & Re-Evaluating

Watching this video just got me thinking ALL DAY, lol. Before I write, I must say that I love B.Scott, he is just ::sighs:: the best, lol. He be a-preaching and just...well let me just say that this is the 2nd time that I've watched a video of his that has hit a nerve with me, in a good way.

Ok, so I'm going home (Brooklyn) on Tuesday and I'm missing a lot of my friends, especially my best friends. The group of girls I spent my high school years with are the besties I miss the most. Even though we may not talk with each other often, when we come back together, we know the deal. We just have that bond and that understanding. I love them and I can honestly say that they are my true blue friends. NOW, I have another friend (who shall remain nameless) who I've been friends with for a while. I love her to death, I do, but I don't think I can continue our friendship any longer.

She is the PRIME example of a number 3 (see the B.Scott video above). Me, me, me, me, it's all about me when it comes to her. I can talk about one thing and she will somehow, someway, revert it back to herself and it's sickening. I really don't know how to break it off and I'm not too sure how to. I've told her about this before but she didn't take well to it. She wasn't like this during our whole friendship, but I guess people change you and you forget who you truely were (are). But I'll tell you this: she will be getting the heave-ho out of my life eventually.